How to figure out what you want when you don’t know what you want
If you’re ridin’ the Law of Attraction train and have studied manifestation at all, you know that step one is figuring out what you want. You can’t deliberately manifest something if you don’t know what it is, right? Well, I had been stuck at step one for about 3 years.
The thing is, I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I had goals and dreams and a vision for my life and business, but every time I took steps towards it, something wouldn’t feel right and I’d change my mind. Do you know this feeling?
If you’re feeling unclear on what you want to manifest, there could be a number of things going on. I’m going to touch on 2 really common causes.
1. Fear of commitment.
It’s very possible that you actually do know what you want. You just won’t let yourself accept it because you’re afraid to commit. You may be saying “But Jess, I can commit. I’ve committed to lots of stuff!” Of course you have - when you weren’t afraid of the outcome.
But think about the thing you haven’t been able to commit to. Got it in your mind? Now what do you think would happen if you went all in? What would the consequences be, both negative and positive? Would you finally be “successful”? What responsibilities come with that? Will you be happy? Will you have time freedom? And what are you making these assumptions mean about you as a person? That you’re uncaring and leave people behind? That you’re bad with money and will lose it all?
When you can pinpoint what it is that’s freaking you out about the outcome, you’ll figure out why you’ve been so noncommittal. And when you dismantle that fear and start telling yourself the truth, you’ll then be able to commit.
2. You’re out of alignment.
When you’re trying to figure out what you desire and literally have no idea, you may be looking in the wrong direction. This is actually what I’ve experienced. When I started my entrepreneur journey as a yoga teacher in 2014, I very quickly (like two weeks in) realized that I wanted to be a coach. At the time I was in total flow, just allowing doors to open and excitedly stepping through them, so I wasn’t attached to being a yoga teacher. I accepted it as a stepping stone on my path and kept moving forward. But once I became a coach, for some reason I told myself “This is it - my destination!” and I had a ninja death grip on my coaching business. So instead of remaining in the flow and allowing the Universe to surprise and delight me, I told it that this is how it had to be and this is how it had to look, so of course I was confused, unhappy, and unclear on where to head. It took 3 years to finally release my grip, throw my hands in the air, and say “Universe, I give up on forcing this. I need you. Send help.” and within 24 hours my aligned (and exciting AF) vision became clear.
It’s a lot more fun to co-create with the Universe than it is to try and force results by yourself. Have the courage to let go of what you think you want and the faith that the Universe will indeed delight you, and it will. If you’ve been pushing for something for a long time and it doesn’t feel fun at all, it’s time to ask yourself it that’s actually what you truly want.
The answer may be scary. I was terrified of letting go of the plan I had for myself because the only other option was the unknown. But the unknown doesn’t have to be scary. It’s full of possibility, miracles, and magic!
What are you ready to let go of? Leave a comment, and let me know! It may be the key to unlocking the next door!